Hello Everyone - Thank you all for coming to my mother’s service of thanksgiving.
Firstly, may I just say a big thank you to everyone for all your kind words, messages and memories of my mother on social media, by card and in person. They have all been lovely to read and are a great comfort to all the family. Now, mother made it to the ripe old age of 91, so we’ve got quite a lot to get through…... so I’d better crack on.
Mum was born on 14th March 1933 so naturally her parents christened her Pamela JUNE! This was a bit of a family tradition. Her eldest sister, Dora MAY was, obviously born in August. Her middle sister, Margaret, was also born in August but, just to confuse matters she was christened Margaret JEAN. There was also a younger brother, Michael WILLIAM, although there’s no clue in his name as to the month he was born in.
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Pam aged 5
(right) Pam, Dora and Margaret
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In those days before the war, the family lived in Wisbech. Bill was the sports editor of the local paper ‘The Wisbech Standard’. A talented footballer, he was known as “the flying wing of Wisbech Town”. He was also a gifted cartoonist and amateur artist. In fact, every week the paper had one of his sports cartoons in it, highlighting a particular event in one of the weekend’s matches.
Essie was the stay at home housewife and mother. Her parents, the Beakleys had a small farm just outside Wisbech, growing fruit. One of mum’s fondest memories from those peaceful sunny pre war days was the whole family going to the farm to help with the fruit picking. Although, she did confess to me that she spent more time climbing trees and jumping out of them, than she ever did picking fruit!
At the end of the day, all the fruit was loaded onto the horse and cart (the horse’s name was Jacko) and trotted down to the station to be loaded onto the train to go down to Covent Garden. On the way back they would stop off at one of the other farms for ice cream, a real treat!
Around this time, mum recalled going to the cinema to see her first film. It was Walt Disney’s “Snow White”. This began her lifelong love of Snow White collecting, a few examples of which you may notice dotted about.
In 1939, the war came to this sleepy corner of Cambridgeshire …... as it did to everywhere. Bill was promoted to Editor in Chief of the Standard’s sister paper ‘The Ely Standard’. So Bill, Essie and the three sisters (Mike didn’t come along until later) moved lock stock and barrel to Ely, where they took up residence in the flat above the newspaper offices….a perk that came with the job.
Dora, mum’s eldest sister by a good twelve years, was old enough to join the WAAF’s, where she was posted to RAF Exeter to work in the operations room…. that’s the place you have all seen in war films, where the girls track the aircraft movements by pushing little planes round a big map.
Bill, as a newspaper editor was writing articles about the war effort as well as more local news. Because of his artistic skills, he produced many leaflets and programmes for various events organised to raise money for the war effort, some of which I still have.
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Hockey Team at Ely High School - Pam 2nd row far right
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It was during the war that younger brother Michael came along, a happy event during hardship and conflict. By the war’s end, mum would have been 12, Margaret 14 and both attending Ely High School for Girls. Dora had returned from her posting in Exeter and was soon to marry Derek Hookham, a local lad from Wisbech who had flown Lancasters during the war.
In the immediate post war period as things slowly returned to normal, mum thrived at school. She was the sporty one of the three sisters and played hockey, tennis, netball and athletics for the school.
She went swimming at 6 o’clock most mornings at the open air pool, with the pool attendant getting so fed up of getting up early just for her, that he gave her a key of her own!
Moving into her mid teens, she used to get invited to play tennis at Major Legge-Bourke’s house, who was the local MP. She was made captain of the school hockey team, and in the cold winters they had back then, she would go speed skating on the specially flooded frozen fields. It was from those speed skating days that she picked up one of favourite phrases. Instead of saying goodbye, she would say “I’ll see you on the ice in the morning”.
Mum also developed a lifelong love of cricket from her father and she used to tell me that quite often, she would cycle all the way from Ely to Cambridge to watch the matches at Fenners cricket ground. She became so well known there, that the groundsmen used to let her in via a special gate where she could bring her bike in rather than leave it outside. One match she remembered clearly was when Cambridge University played the M.C.C with her hero Godfrey Evans keeping wicket.
Bizarrely, many years later in the 1990’s, Godfrey came to live in Rushden, so she was able to meet her hero from all those years ago, in person!
Something else I found out only recently was back when she was about 16, the football reporter for the Ely Standard took sick one weekend, so Bill sent mum on the Ely Town Football Club’s team coach to report on their away match with a neighbouring side. Her report appeared in that weekend’s edition of the paper, with her name as the by-line. This must have been about 1949, so I reckon that she was probably one of the first female football reporters in the country!
Later in 1949 she passed her school certificate (the precursor to ‘O’ levels) and entered the 6th form. By the time she was in the upper 6th she had been made Head Girl, which pleased her no end because elder sister Margaret had only made it to deputy head girl. (no sibling rivalry there then!)
In fact, there is someone here today, who was in the first year at Ely High School when mum was Head Girl, Cynthia Mathias, who tells me that she clearly remembers sitting crossed legged on the school hall floor, with mum sitting on the stage as head girl with all the teachers.
Having passed her higher school certificate in 1951, mum decided she wanted to become a P.E. Teacher and gained a place at Chelsea College, Eastbourne…. a specialist teacher training college. It was there she met her lifelong friend, Muriel, with whom she had stayed friends with ever since. In fact, they saw each other last May – 72 years after they first met. As young girls at an exclusive ladies college, one can imagine the stuff they got up to. She told me a college tradition where the girls would all go down to the beach at midnight to swim naked in the sea before returning to college for hot chocolate and biscuits (probably still on ration!)
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Muriel & Pam 1953
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Miss Wilson - PE mistress
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By 1954 mum had qualified as a P.E. Teacher and applied for a job at Rushden Secondary Modern School for Girls in Rushden (now called Chichele Comprehensive). She got the job and became the school’s first specialist games mistress. Indeed, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are a few of her ex-pupils here today.
On starting work, she took lodgings with Mrs. Coleshill in Wyckham Road in Higham Ferrers. With public transport east to west being virtually non existent back then, getting back to Ely was difficult. So, typical mother, she bought herself a motorbike! A 250cc James Captain which she rode everywhere – even to work – it used to cause quite a stir when Miss Wilson rocked up on her motorbike at the start of the school day.
Being sporty, she joined various local sports clubs. She played centre forward for Kettering Ladies Hockey Club. She joined the local Badminton Club and also the Rushden Tennis Club. When dad came to Rushden a year later, he also joined the Tennis Club, and this is where they met.
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Jim & Pam - married 13 Feb 1960
and Baby William came in 1961
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In fact, with dad being the new owner of the local sports and toy shop, he managed to persuade mum to ditch her old tennis racket and sold her the most expensive racket he had in the shop – a Dunlop Gold Star.
My father’s powers of persuasion weren’t just confined to selling sports goods, because in 1960, after a four year courtship, he managed to persuade her to marry him. They were married on 13th February 1960 at Ely and, as many of you know went on their honeymoon to Brighton Toy Fair, where dad became the first retailer in the UK to sign up to sell a newfangled toy called LEGO.
The following year, in 1961, mum retired from teaching on medical grounds. She was suffering from a condition called pregnancy, contracted from my father, but fortunately the condition cleared up when I was born.
Having retired from teaching, mum went into partnership with dad at the shop, where she took over the running of the office, as well as numerous other things to do with the business.
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Big sister Dora with baby James and Pam
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Over the next thirty odd years they continued to run the shop and expand it into a thriving little business. They parented me through school and college and in 1988 managed to move me out when I married Tracy.
Ten years later in 1998, we gave them a little grandson, James. Dad doted on him and spoiled him rotten. Mum on the other hand rolled up her sleeves and proceeded to educate him. She had a special day each week, called Grandma’s day, when she would take him into the garden to teach him how to throw and catch a ball, how to hold a cricket bat, and how to hit a tennis ball. She would hide his toy cars around the house and leave little messages on how to find them. She would teach him the proper use of English, how to use an apostrophe, the difference between who and whom, how to construct a sentence, so he could talk proper like what I do!
Quite often, when I went round after work to pick him up, mum and James would be sitting at the kitchen table, both enjoying a glass of cider! James was about 4 or 5, so she also taught him how to drink! “Something that came in handy when you went to Uni wasn’t it James?”
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At Lord's Cricket Ground with Jim
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The next few years flew by with the shop continuing to do well…... then in 2015 we lost dad. We were all devastated, but mum bore the loss with stoicism, dignity and a stiff upper lip which seems to be common to that generation that went through the war.
A little while after dad died though, we noticed something quite remarkable happening to mum. Instead of taking a step back, she took a step forward! Without dad by her side, she had obviously decided to continue to make the most of things, and became quite independent.
I noticed this one evening, soon after we lost dad, when I was sitting round at her home watching some football on the telly. I said to her:
“Mum, now things are settling down are you OK?”
“Yes” she said, “I’m fine”.
“Is there anything we can do for you, anything you want?” I said expecting a “no no sweetheart I’m fine”.
Instead of that I got “I’m glad you asked me that, because there are three things I want. First I want a flagpole in the front garden!”
“Well we can do that” I said, “I think there’s a place at Thrapston that sells them”.
“Good” she said. “The second thing I want is to put up the weather vane, that you bought me for my birthday, in the back garden.”
“Well I am sure we can do that too” I said, “and what’s the third thing?”
“I want a dark green Aston Martin with cream leather seats and a walnut dash!”
“What a real one?” I said.
“Yes a real one” she said.
“So, I understand the flagpole and the weather vane” I said “But why on earth do you want an Aston Martin?”
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Driving on the race track aged 84!
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“I’ll tell you” she said, “when I was 15, big sister Margaret and her then boyfriend Tony (they were later to be married) took me to the 1948 Earls Court Motor Show and there I saw a dark green Aston Martin, and I said to myself, Pam, one day you’re going to have one of those! Your father would never let me have one, but now he’s not here to stop me I’m blooming well going to have one! You will sort it out for me won’t you Will?”
“errr….. OK mum!”
So I rang the Aston Martin dealers in Hemel Hempstead, spoke to a very nice man called Derek and explained that my mother, who was 83, had decided she wanted an Aston Martin. A nice second hand one would do, but it had to be dark green with cream leather seats and a walnut dash!
“Doesn’t want much does she?” he said, “I can sell you an Aston Martin, but one with those exact specifications, you will be very lucky, but I’ll make a note and keep it on file!”
So I thanked Derek and secretly thought, fantastic it’ll be ages, if ever, before he finds the right one.
Of course this is my mother we are talking about here and less than three weeks later I got a call from Derek ….
“You’ll never guess what’s just come in” he said.
“Don’t tell me...a dark green Aston Martin with cream leather seats and a walnut dash?” I said.
“Yes! It’s amazing isn’t it?” he said.
“Not really” I said. “it’s my mother we are talking about here”.
So mum became the proud owner of a 165 mph Aston Martin DB7 V12, dark green, with cream leather seats and a walnut dash! She put it in the garage and called it Anthony after her brother-in- law, Tony, who took her to that motor show all those years before. She never drove it on the road; I think her license had expired years ago. But for her 84th birthday, she drove it down the drag strip at Santa Pod raceway! What a Girl! (By the way, if anybody wants to buy a green Aston Martin, one careful lady owner, see me afterwards!)
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Shop dressed in Lego
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Shop staff - Donna, Libby, Pam, William, and Kasey
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In 2018, the shop became famous for a weekend in February, when the LEGO company decided to mark the 60th anniversary of their all conquering toy, by honouring the first shop in the UK to stock LEGO (our shop) with a special LEGO makeover, which I’m sure many of you will remember.
Mother, now in full flow with her one step forward policy, did all the TV and radio interviews for the BBC, ITV, Sky News as well as the written press…... and loved it.
Two years later, we celebrated the 65th anniversary of the shop, with mother again front and centre. We produced, at her insistence, a commemorative jigsaw which sold over 500 copies and generated a nice little donation to Rushden Museum.
Now, back to 2010. Tracy and I decided on a parting of the ways, but fortunately we both found new partners, Tracy with Ibo and I with Libby. When Libby and I got married a few years ago, in addition to me and James, mum inherited a much extended family of step grandchildren and great grandchildren. She was now matriarch to a much extended family, all of whom adored her, and all called her “Granny ’O’.”
About 2 years ago, mum suffered a stroke. The doctors said it should have killed her, but it’s my mother we are talking about here, so it only slowed her down a little. Interestingly, while she was recovering in hospital, the patients had boards above their beds with a section on them which said “my favourite things”. One lady had “My family”, another had “my 2 daughters”, another “my lovely dogs” – on mum’s “watching sport on TV”.
So when mum came out of hospital, she took more of a back seat in the business. (Don’t you just hate it when somebody takes early retirement when they are only 88!?) She still used to come to the shop on her mobility scooter and, anyone who met her on the Greenway knew to give her a wide berth, as she sped past. Bryan Hill from church, nicknamed her Louisa Hamilton because of her formula 1 style of driving.
Indeed, only last year we were watching the British Grand Prix from Silverstone and mum piped up “I went to the first race after the war there in 1948. Margaret and Tony took me, and I remember sitting on the hay bales at the side of the track having a picnic as the cars whizzed past…..” So this is obviously where her love of speed came from. Whenever I took her out in her Aston, she would always tell me “Come on, put your foot down Will.”
So mum was less involved in the business, but this left her more time at home to watch her sport. Although, from quite a young age, I can remember that during Wimbledon fortnight, the tennis would take priority and we would hardly see her. She particularly loved her tennis, so listen out for the piece of music at the end of the service.
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Helicopter flight aged 90
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In March last year, Mum celebrated her 90th birthday. She wanted to do a skydive, but we managed to talk her out of that. So she settled for a helicopter ride instead, on condition that she didn’t jump out of it! She loved it as you can see from the photo on the front of the order of service. and…... we also had a small party at home to mark the event….. where there was cake!
Sadly, about 2 months ago, Mum suffered another stroke. This time she wasn’t so lucky and in the end it proved to be one that ultimately re-united her with her beloved Jim.
It’s nearly nine years ago now that I stood here and gave my father’s eulogy, and I ended that by saying that “He was a lovely man who had had a lovely life”……………….. and it gives me great pleasure to be able to say the same about my mother………... “She was a lovely Lady, and I know she had a lovely life, because she told me she did”.
So there we are – and I shall end this eulogy, not with a traditional “Goodbye” but with one of Mum’s parting phrases from her speed skating days on the frozen fenland fields…….
“I’LL SEE YOU ON THE ICE IN THE MORNING”
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